So I'm sitting here in my car accross the street from my house. I have that fuzzy feeling in my stomach. I'm terrified to get out of the car and walk over there. I imagine one scenario in which Alexis isn't mad or surprised and everything goes ok. I know of another where her face glades from surprise to understanding. I want her to ask me why. I want her to understand why I have to. Maybe it will feel less like I'm disappointing everyone. Maybe it will be justified. I don't really know Lord. I don't even know if this is the right decision. What will I tell people? What will I say when people ask me? Their looks God. It's going to be horrible. I don't want to live in fear. Lord. Please give me strength and resilience as I go into the house. Help me get through this conversation and through everything that is to come. I love you Lord. This reminds me of Dalene leaving a few things so she can focus on you. Help me turn this into something good. If all things work for the good and to your will then so will this too. Lord grant me strength. Help me with this. I love you protector and savior, friend, father, lord.
Amen.
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