A Long Time

Dear God,

It's so nice to talk to you again. I feel like I haven't spoken to you in ages. I've had a breakthrough with my writing. My arms tingle. I can feel you. You are everywhere. I just read the letters again. I feel ashamed that I haven't written sooner. Don't feel ashamed. It's ok. Sometimes I worry Lord. I worry that I'm not doing the right thing. then I decide not to worry. It just gets buried and I sit and wonder if I'm a good person. I can't help but think of my future person. I have a list if you need help. I know you don't. Why do I obsess over a person after we have an interaction? Why do I think they automatically like me because they were kind to me? Is it because people today are so mean and unkind that a nice person can be perceived as a person who is interested. I'm leaving it up to you. I mean I can still remember Greg's smile and his clear blue eyes. I can see it. I told myself that I needed to find my Griffin. I needed to find my person who would protect me. I guess I got caught up on the letter G. I know you can protect me. In fact, in the bookstore today, I felt time wasn't passing. I felt happy and overwhelmed with all that I could learn about you. I yearn for a man Lord. I yearn for a husband, a boyfriend. A physical human being who I can hold and touch. When I think about it, I feel like I am missing something. Sierra says I flirt weird, is it true? I just flirt how I was told...meaning how I do. No one teaches you how to do these things. I think I'll just burrow my head in my writing and my work and let you take care of it. Taking care of me is something you are quite good at. Please, look over my future person. Protect him and help him become the person you need. If there is no person, look over your sons. Help them to be kind, gentlemanly, and the people you need them to be. Watch over your daughters. Teach us that we don't have to be as independent as secular culture tells us. Teach us to be good mothers and stewards. Help the Catholic Church continue to grow and turn into the best it can. Protect all your children. Watch over them and I pray they feel your love. Bless my writing. I love you. Lord, I love you too.

Amen, Ashley.